Of Boobs and Burgers
by WZRDmeesh
Summary: Jori oneshot. After the Diddly Bops performance Jade, Tori, and Cat have one problem to deal with: freeing Jade from her costume. Two things stand in their way though.CaTorAde.


**I do not own Victorious.**

"Oh my gosh guys that was so fun!" Cat said dancing around her broccoli costume. Their one time only Diddly Bops performance went off perfectly, now to put this embarrassing act behind them.

"Yes it was fun Cat, if fun means being humiliated for money" Jade said.

Cat thought for a moment. "Yeees?"

"Cat shut up. Help me out of this stupid costume" Jade said flailing her arms.

"Okay hold still!" Tori said putting her hands behind Jade.

"Jade how are we gonna get your _boobs_ out of the costume!" Cat said tapping her hands on the front of Jade. Jade turned sideways and swung her arm but missed hitting Cat. "Haha Jadey you almost hit me!" Cat said bumping her shoulder against Jade. Tori smirked.

"Hey Cat, how do you make a hamburger smile?"

"I don't know how Tori?"

"You_ pickle_ it gently!" Tori said tickling Jade on the neck, Cat joined in.

"Stop!" Jade yelled.

She flung her arms at the pair, still hindered by her costume. "Turn around Jade" Tori ordered still laughing. Jade obeyed only so she could kill them quicker. Tori grabbed the zipper of the costume and pulled. After snagging it Tori pulled hard, ripping the zipper off in the process. She looked at Cat who had a worried look on her face.

"You want to hurry this up Tori, I gotta pee" Jade said.

"You may have to wait a little longer" Tori said walking around dangling the zipper in Jades face.

Her eyes widened _"Get me out of this now_!" she said through gritted teeth.

"I'm trying!" Tori whined.

Cat walked up beside her "What if we can't get it off and Jade has to go through life as a hamburger!" she cried. "I don't think she could get anymore plays that way."

"You'll be typecast as a delicious looking burger for the rest of your life Jade!" Cat said on the verge of tears.

Jade rolled her eyes "Cat shut up and Vega when I get out if this..." Jade said.

Tori blanched "I'm trying to help you! Cat help me pull it down" she said.

"Okay!"

Tori stood facing Jade who stared back into her eyes, raising a pierced eyebrow at her. Tori gulped and looked away. "I'm going to put my hands between Jade and the costume, Cat you pull down."

"KK!" Cat said from behind Jade. Tori placed her hands inside the costume on Jade's chest, the same chest that was making this an impossible task.

"When I say three Cat pull."

"Got it!" Cat answered.

"One, two, three!" Tori said pushing against Jade's boobs as Cat pulled down her costume. Jade face went from annoyed to pained.

"Stop Stop Stop!" Jade said.

"No Jade, I love you too much to let you live as a hamburger!" Cat said still pulling. Jade turned and this time was close enough to lightly smack Cat upside the head."Owie!" she said.

"This hurts, and not in a good way!" Jade said. With Cat's pulling stopped Tori's hands were stuck, wedged between Jade's boobs and the costume in an awkward position.

"Let me just –" Tori said sliding around slightly, Jade now crouched down with Tori hovering over her, hands still stuck like glue against her chest. "We need a new plan."

"Yeah no chiz" Jade replied.

"How are we going to get this off without hurting Jade? Think, think" Tori repeated to herself.

"Tori" Jade said

"Yeah" Tori answered hopeful Jade had come up with a plan.

"Can you not rub my boobs while you think" Jade said.

"Sorry, habit" Tori said stopping her stroking.

Cat giggled "How is feeling Jade's boobs a hab –"

"Less talking more thinking!" Jade quickly cut her off.

"I know!" Cat said "Why don't Tori and I pull it back on the same side so your boobs can slide out quick!" Cat said. Jade sighed

"I'll try anything at this point" she said sitting on her knees by now, Tori's hands still BFF's with her chest. Cat reached into the costume and put her hands on top of Tori's.

"They're so squishy!" Cat said. Tori nodded and squeezed lightly along with Cat. "Why am I already regretting this?" Jade said, the two girl's hands gripping her chest, Tori staring into her eyes and cat's chin sitting atop her head.

"Okay so on three we'll – "

"Omg Jade you still have your nipple pierced from when I did it in middle school!" Cat squealed. Jade winced at her high pitched voice. "Yes, now can you stop pulling it?" Jade said turning red slightly. Cat kept at it.

"Wait Cat's the one who pierced your nipple?" Tori asked. "Yes now can we go back to –"

"How do you know about Jade's piercing?" Cat asked stopping her hand. Jade let out a shaky breath.

Tori blushed. "I...don't?" She said unconvincingly. Jade resisted rolling her eyes.

"Cat" Jade spoke slowly "Let's get this off me so I don't have to have a career being chased around by fat kids in anti-obesity commercials. On three you two pull and I'll slip out".

The two girls nodded. "One, two, three!" Jade said. Tori and Cat each pulled the front of Jades costume as she stood up – dragging them up with her.

"Pull harder!" Jade yelled spinning in the costume. The two girls spun with Jade as she tried to get out of the stupid outfit. They turned over and over in a circle, their hands never managing to leave her boobs.

"Ummmmm, do you guys need some help?" The trio stopped as they saw Beck, Robbie, and Andre looking at them confused.

"NOOO!" The three yelled, continuing their spinning.

The boys sighed and continued watching. Beck turned to Robbie "Go in Jade's bag and get every pair of scissors you find" he said "We're gonna be here a while" he stated as the three girls crashed to the floor, Tori pinned under Jade, Cat on top, her feet dangling off the burger costume.

"Vega how are your hands still on my boobs!" Jade yelled.


End file.
